I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
