And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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