Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
