yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Randomize
