i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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