my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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