It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Someone signed my nipple.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
