yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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