Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize