im drinking this country out of the recession.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
