your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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