I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
