Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
