dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
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My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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