The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
