the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
