Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
