My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And then he peed in my hair
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