paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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