Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
