i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
