people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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