shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
