FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i think i just lost a toe
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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