Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
