Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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