The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is it because I queefed?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
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In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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