Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
