last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.