Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
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i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
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all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count