Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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