Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
