tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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