But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
