So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
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through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
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while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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