Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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