I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
