I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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