He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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