I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
