help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize