woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
