At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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