I accidentally had phone sex last night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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