if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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