I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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