Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm jealous of your bromance
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize