Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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