You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
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So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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