she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
