i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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