I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
