I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize