just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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